Until death do we part...

So last week, I was again sitting in Children's Lit, and my teacher AGAIN went off on one of his crazy and usually pointless tangents (this class should be a life lessons or life philosophy class or something, not children's lit) and his topic of the conversation was marriage.

Now, as a side note, marriage seems to be a popular topic with teachers in college. I don't know what it is about marriage but they all seem to want to impart their "wisdom" upon us and they all think they're experts. One of my teachers had a very bad divorce. He's a lawyer so all his classes usually involved some story about his ex wife and how much he hated her but they were at least directed towards whatever lesson he was teaching and were usually funny. You could never tell if he was serious or not (he prob was serious, which is scary) but it still was slightly entertaining. He felt so strongly that marriage was stupid and that women were trouble, blah, blah, blah...

Another teacher I had, also hated marriage. He'd been married for many years, had kids, then realized he hated his wife and got divorced. Nice, huh? He's so bitter that now he totally bashes on marriage and says its the worst decision he ever made in his entire life. He wasn't funny when he talked about marriage, in fact it was pretty offensive (and I don't get offended easily ha). Anyways, he felt that he was an expert on marriage and so he loved to talk about it all the time.

This brings us finally to my Child Lit teacher. However, unlike the other two teachers, he has been happily married for almost 34 years. So this particular class period, he went off on marriage and how much work it is. Isn't that the line we always hear? It takes work? Well let me just add in a huge DUH here. Um, HELLO, of course marriage requires work. But I also think that if it requires the kind of work that isn't enjoyable then its probably not the right marriage. Anyways, this brings us to my point of this entire blog and what I wanted to address. He said that his parents were divorced and that until he got married he didn't see himself as the marriage type. He barely knew his wife before he asked her to marry him, in fact he was only 20 when he proposed. That's crazy! But also awesome. He told us all this and then talked about how different society is today, and how divorce rates are high and people are getting married later or not at all. Now for me that is a very sad thought. I want to get married someday. Sometimes I think I'm terribly old fashioned like that. I'm a hopeless romantic too so that doesn't help matters that I live in a society where hook ups and divorce run rampant.

Some girl raised her hand in class when he was done talking and said "well in society now a days, a job is more of a guarantee then marriage." Isn't that sad?? When people are more focused on themselves and earning money and their career then in finding someone to spend the rest of their life with and have a family? Ha, I told you I was old fashioned haha. I'm all for having a career and a job but whats the point if you don't have anyone to share it with? That would be so lonely, especially if the job was something you were only mildly interested in.

Another kid raised his hand a few minutes later and brought up one of the best points I think I have ever heard and something that i've been thinking about lately. He said that these days people have the tendency to only see the short term. In college we are always focused on JUST GETTING THROUGH "this week," JUST getting PAST "this midterm" or "this final." But the minute we get past them, there's something else we have to "get past." It's a vicious cycle because after college it'll be "let me just get this promotion, or this job and THEN i'll start looking for a partner or whatever" but then you get that job or promotion and its something else like "let me just get past this deadline and THEN i'll do blank..." Putting things off until you "have time"

I always thought that living in the moment was a good thing, and I still think it does hold some truth. But I think that living in the moment and living to get through something are different. However when put into that kind of perspective where we're constantly just trying to "get through" things made me think about how I want to prioritize my life. His point was in reference to marriage, that people are so focused on getting a job first and then finding someone. And sometimes that is a smart thing to do, because you need to find someone that fits into your life...but I'm not always sure that's the best way to go. What if you wait too long? It's so easy to get caught up life and get so caught up in the flow of life and you don't LIVE life. If that makes sense.

I'm actually not entirely sure what my point was of this post, in fact its more just a discussion, but here are some random points about what I believe in, just in case I was a little wishy washy.

1. I think teachers preaching about marriage is awful. I instantly lose respect for them and if I wanted marriage advice i'd go to someone who's qualified, not someone who has their degree in Law or Finance or even Children's Lit. You may have experience, but I'm not here to listen to you bitch about your ex wife and how awful marriage is, I can experience these things on my own, thanks.

2. I'm not one of those people with a strict life plan in place. I want to get married and have a family tho. In fact, I'd prefer it to a job. Again, old fashioned...

3. Everything happens for a reason. If it hasn't happen yet, its not the right time.

4. Balance your life.

5. Work hard, but work hard on enjoying life too.